Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Take charge of your life.
Not making a decision is making a decision!

- Crystal Andrus

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Stepping into the Fire

Yesterday was one of those days where I woke up in a slump-tastic funk and couldn't shake it. After a morning of ferocious coughing I banished myself to my couch for a day of moping and watching TV. As the day progressed things seemed to be coming in on me. Then, the dogs tracked in some sort of black substance and spread it all over our new couch. That was it - full melt down time. Out came the tears and fears. All this old crap seemed to be surfacing for me.

It was only later that night that I connected it. The night before I had done another huge hip opening practice. Let me tell you there is some dark stuff living in my hips. A enticing mix of self sabotage, negativity, and harshness. Like I've mentioned before, this is usually when I go running from my yoga practice. When the dark stuff surfaces I want nothing to do with it. I feel for my poor dogs and boyfriend who have to be in the same home with me while I wallow in my crap.

Today I had a choice. I could stay stuck in yesterday's yuck or I could step back into the fire. My theory is that the only way for me to release these emotions is to keep going back into them. The best way for me to access them is through yoga. I unrolled my mat and went for it... more hip openers! I did it in a very honoring way. I started my practice with a gentle prayer for peace and release. Afterwards, I felt energized and fantastic. We shall see what tomorrow brings. If it does bring more of the negative feelings hopefully I can recognize it sooner and work on a plan B to move through them.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Day #21 - The End

Today is technically day 21 of my 21 day experiment. I've practiced yoga the last few days but haven't been able to really find my flow or groove. I seem to continue to struggle right now. I've been frustrated by the lack of movement, or change, in my physical body. In other words, I don't feel like I'm progressing. I realize that I was sick for about a week out of this three week period. However, that just feels like an excuse. When I sat down to write today I saw a "Inspiration Card" that I had set out last week.

Ever moment is an opportunity.
I create my life anew each day.

Remember that you are always creating your life new and fresh. You are not trying to redo or change what already exists. To do so would be to resist what is, which creates struggle and conflict. Take the attitude that you are accepting and handling whatever exists in your life while at the same time recognizing that every moment is a new opportunity to begin creating exactly what you desire and what will make you the happiest.

-Shakti Gawain
Creative Visualization 50 Inspiration Card Deck

I seem to be resisting what is; struggling against some ideal that I have created in my mind. I'm going to keep practicing yoga and writing about it. I will do my best not to compare and judge myself. I will do my best to accept where I am in this moment and create the qualities that I want for the next.