Defeat

It has been awhile since I have posted. I started college full time a few weeks ago. Let me tell you, it has been an experience. I wish I could say that I am enjoying it, but I'm not. There I said it. I despise studying and I'm struggling with retaining information. I would rather be doing yoga, cleaning the house, cooking, or walking the dogs. I am beyond stressed out. Tom has been so amazingly supportive thus far, which I am so grateful for. I just can't help but wonder if I'm cut out for this. Maybe I'm not. I feel like a total and complete failure right now. I want to run back to work. I was always good at work. School scares me. The thought of being graded and someone telling me how smart, or dumb, I am sends me into a downward spin. I am not sure how I can get through this and keep my sanity. I feel like I am going to crack.

Tom had an excellent point today. I am completely negative when it comes to learning. I am so hard on myself when I don't do something right the first time. I expect myself to know it all. He is 100% right. I do not think of learning things or a learning curve. I just expect to be perfect without practice. Things that don't go hand in hand with each other. Instead, I fail because I give up (my words, not his.) So how do I get around this? How do I create a new pattern? How do I let go of this stress and move forward without giving up?

Off Track

As the frequency of my blog posts have died down so have my workouts. I'm getting back on track starting today. Blogging seems to keep me accountable... so here we go again :)