Day #2 - Outward Expression

Today we hit 60 degrees in Chicago and it felt fantastic! I walked to the gym, which is a two miles round trip, ran on a treadmill for two miles, then came home and took the dogs for a long walk.

I also did a 30 minute yoga practice this evening. I flowed with what my body needed after all of that walking and running. Worked on releasing tension and old patterns from my body with a verbal practice. By this I mean I say whatever comes up for me as I move through postures. This is done with the intention of letting it go. I say "I choose to release ______." Then move on. Sometimes the replacement for the energy comes up, then I say "I choose to replace this with ______." It is a beautiful practice. It feels very honoring. There is great power in my voice; using it in this way is very helpful for me.

Day #1 - Finding My Flow

I have many reasons for creating a solid yoga practice right now. I have time to do it. I will be going to school full time starting this summer so now is a great time to create a new habit. I have tons of Shiva Rea DVDs to use. I need to gain flexibility while I strengthen my body. And the list goes on and on.

However, this morning those were not the reasons that brought me to my mat. My motivation was bigger than just me. I wanted to cultivate qualities through my yoga practice that the world needs right now. By the world, I mean Japan in particular. They are in a state of emergency that I can not even fathom. And quite honestly, do not want to. I would much rather send energy out to this crisis than take energy in from it.

I started my yoga practice today with a goal of cultivating stability and surrender. The people of Japan are in a situation where they need both. The must surrender to the power of Mother Nature and they need stability within the ground they walk on, within themselves, their families, their communities, and their country.

The DVD that called to me this morning was Fluid Power. It's one of my favorites even though I haven't used it in years. As I began to practice it was like my body magically incorporated the above qualities. I was able to clearly understand movements and sequences that seemed forced to me before. I could feel the global heart beat. I could feel the movement of the water within my body swelling and receding. I could feel the loss of life and more importantly, feel them joining our ancestors - becoming part of our history. It was the most connected I have felt in a long, long, time. And, although, there is a ton of sadness and devastation out there right now, that is NOT what I felt. I felt a strong sense of hope and strength. Life will continue.

21 Days

I'm sure you have heard it before. It takes 21 days to create a habit. I will be running, yes running, a 8k in a little over 21 days. I am not a runner and just started training. I realize that this is not the best plan and I should have started training weeks ago. However, it's cold in Chicago. Even though I've seen lots of runners braving the weather all winter, I am not one of them. I figure worst case I end up walking the 8K. I know I can do that.

Training, or should I say starting to train, has inspired me to start doing yoga regularly. Here's my plan for the next 21 days. Every other day run - gradually increasing my distance. On running days I plan on doing light yoga. On non running days a solid yoga practice. Even though I ran today... tomorrow will be Day 1, starting with a yoga practice.

Working Out

I am always surprised at the absence of stretching and yoga at organized gyms. I joined a gym this week to help me train for a run that we are doing next month. The membership came with one free personal training session. The trainer had me do various activities for about 30 minutes, gave me the talk about how personal training can help, and that was it. No stretching? Was I missing something?

My body aches for yoga after working out. An exercise session doesn't feel complete without it. My muscles long to be relaxed and integrated after my work out. So why is it that Americans separate working out and yoga so much? What are our bodies gaining by this? Do we all long to become muscle bound and inflexible? Is that what our society teaches is good, sexy, and strong? Why do Americans seem to gravitate towards the microcosm and completely ignore the macrocosm?

Holding Emotions

I firmly believe that we store emotions in our bodies. I have always thought this and after my Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy training it is impossible for me to deny. The beautiful thing is that we have the power within us to address these emotions and release them. It might not always be fun, but it can be done. Yoga classes and stretching can access these emotions as well as body work like massage therapy or yoga therapy. You can use your body as a tool to learn things about yourself. I am always amazed at the clear answers that are in my body just waiting for me to discover them.

What emotions are you carrying around with you? Are you ready to let go of them?

A Willingness to Experience Duality

A few mornings ago I was thinking about my yoga practice, or more accurately my lack of yoga practice these days. I was wondering why I have been avoiding it. I know that when I practice regularly I feel fantastic. I begin to open up to life, to feel connected to my body and spirit, and to feel firmly grounded in my truth. I feel that amazing joy and immense sense of being fully alive in every cell of my being. Why would I avoid that? Then it came to me… it’s the crash.

The crash for me usually comes at work. My work situation is less than ideal. My crash consists of walking into work feeling wonderful and open, and then getting bombarded by anger and negativity. This feeling gets compounded by self judgments of why I have left myself in this situation so long. I realize now that my crash consists of me feeling how miserable I really am; something that I have unconsciously worked very hard to numb over the past five years.

So here was the question I was faced with:

If I do not allow myself to feel sadness and sorrow, can I really experience joy?

For me, this answer is a simple no. We live in a world full of duality. We can not have the good without the bad, the happy without the sad, or the reward without the work. I believe that to live fully you must be open to the entire range of emotions.

I know that I have robbed myself of feeling intense joy and happiness because I chose to numb the pain. I can feel the stuck emotions in my body magnifying the longer I avoid my practice. In life, we always have choices. I can continue to deaden myself and mourn the loss of the joy that I once felt, but this is not the way I want to live. Instead, tonight I will unroll my mat with a willingness to experience duality. I will choose to let myself experience whatever emotions present themselves so that I can savor the sweet glimpses of bliss.

Feeling Stuck & the Need For Change

I’ve been feeling very stuck in my life for a while now. There are many aspects that I desperately need to change. However, they all seem to have external factors that are making it hard for me to progress (i.e. the free will of others, economy, etc.) Despite awareness of these factors, at times I still feel the need for change as strongly as the need for air. I find myself gasping inside for something to give way.

Since I do not feel like I can make the big changes right now, I asked myself what small changes I can make. What little things can I do now to bring the energy of change into my life? I had a few answers to this question but even these small steps can seem daunting at times. Then, this morning, it came to me… the smallest step of all, something that I can change at any moment, my breath!

I decided to give it a try. When I started to feel that pressure brewing inside, I took in a nice deep breath and let it out. An instant wave of calm came over me, followed by a feeling of recognition that I do have control of something in my life right now! From there, I began to even out my breath by inhaling to the count of three and exhaling to the count of three. With each breath I could feel my body and thoughts relaxing as I came to the realization that I always have control AND the ability to change.

TRY IT YOUSELF
Take a minute or two to try this exercise. If you work on this a few times a week it will become more of a habit for you. Then, the next time you are feeling panicked or stuck, the thought “wait, breathe” might pop into your head, creating a moment for you to pause and take control of the situation.

1. Start by sitting in a comfortable position and begin to become aware of your breath.


2. Take a nice deep inhale, exhaling through your mouth with a little force, letting go of thoughts, tensions, and judgments, as you empty your lungs completely. You can do this a few times until you begin to feel centered and grounded.


3. Now return to the natural pace of your breath. Count the pace of your natural inhale. To do this, inhale without force as you count 1, 2, 3, 4 … the number you reach as you gently come the top of the inhale is your pace number. (Most people will be around a two or three.) Now use that number to pace your breath evenly. If you inhale to a count of two, then exhale to a count of two. (Note: this number might be different at different times. For example, if you are stressed it might be a one or two, when you normally are a three.)


4. Continue to breathe at your even pace as long as you would like. You may notice a calming or relaxing affect as you continue. If you feel you need to relax a little further you can try adding one count to you pace number; so if you are breathing comfortably at a count of two, try three.


5. When you are finished, place one hand over your heart, smile, and honor yourself for creating this moment.